Script Review
I believe
that both my scripts were successful because both of the story lines were
engaging as well as having obvious, twists and easy to grasp punch lines. For my first
script I think the theme and setting of the situation was portrayed clearly,
for example I think the audience would understand the character's accents, as I
have clearly illustrated when writing the scripts. In think the second script
worked because the story line was simple and easy to grasp. The humour is light
hearted meaning that a wide range of people of different ages can enjoy reading
the sketch. Therefore, it suits the 12 -
35 target audience.
Redrafting the script
After sending
my scripts off to the editor of Stupendous.
They requested I made some changes to my scripts. For my first script the
editor asked me to alter the origin of the characters to suit the British audience. Therefore, I
made the characters English, from Camden, London. However, still keeping the "blackness"
of the characters. This meant changing
the dialogue using more colloquial words and phrases. I think these changes detracted
from the humour as the American slang was part of the comedy. For my second
script I was asked to alter the personality of the dog and make him desires for a more sexual/romantic lifestyle as he could be dissatisfied with his
life with Calvin and Sally. I think this was successful and the changes
improved the script and made it funnier. It allowed it to make more sense and
flow better into the reason why the dog jumps off the boat.