Reviewing my script

     Script Review

I believe that both my scripts were successful because both of the story lines were engaging as well as having obvious, twists  and easy to grasp punch lines. For my first script I think the theme and setting of the situation was portrayed clearly, for example I think the audience would understand the character's accents, as I have clearly illustrated when writing the scripts. In think the second script worked because the story line was simple and easy to grasp. The humour is light hearted meaning that a wide range of people of different ages can enjoy reading the sketch. Therefore, it suits the  12 - 35 target audience.

 

Redrafting the script

After sending my scripts off to the editor of Stupendous. They requested I made some changes to my scripts. For my first script the editor asked me to alter the origin of the characters  to suit the British audience. Therefore, I made the characters English, from Camden, London. However, still keeping the "blackness" of the characters.  This meant changing the dialogue using more colloquial words and phrases. I think these changes detracted from the humour as the American slang was part of the comedy. For my second script I was asked to alter the personality of the dog and make him desires for a more sexual/romantic lifestyle as he could be dissatisfied with his life with Calvin and Sally. I think this was successful and the changes improved the script and made it funnier. It allowed it to make more sense and flow better into the reason why the dog jumps off the boat.